Five Things To Make Atlanta Magically Feel Better

Well, last night for Atlanta sports was about as fun as undergoing root canal. The Braves get pummeled 11-0 by the Brewers in a last-minute start by Eric Stults who had to replace an ill Alex Wood. After last night’s start, Stults ERA might be especially lethal on the Richter Scale (6.34). Cahill’s ERA on Richter Scale would be apocalyptic (7.77). Those sevens are in no way lucky.

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DeMarre Carroll miraculously played and Kyrie Irving looked dapper in street clothes on the Cavs’ bench. I don’t want to know what the score would have been had Kyrie played in Game 2. Even though it was a twelve-point defeat, it felt so much worse than that. Losing the first two games of the Eastern Conference Finals has been a real hard punch to gut for the Atlanta sports fan.

So let’s think about things that make Atlanta sports fans happy. What could possibly magically make us feel better? I can’t find my PS2 and play as the 2004 Atlanta Falcons and run all over people with Michael Vick. Here are five often overlooked things that bring a smile to my face when I think about Atlanta sports.

Chicks Dig The Long Ball

Outside of the Mean Joe Greene Coca-Cola commercial of the 1970’s, Chicks Dig the Long Ball is the best sports commercial of all time. Tom Glavine and Greg Maddux can’t get female fans to pay attention to them at Busch Stadium as these women love watching Mark McGwire hit home runs in batting practice. It didn’t that Maddux and Glavine were good hitting pitchers and above all multiple-time Cy Young Award Winners. They worked on their craft at the plate in this commercial for one reason and one reason alone: Because chicks dig the long ball.

Hobnail Boot

Mark Richt’s first SEC victory as the head coach of the Georgia Bulldogs was a memorable one. Redshirt Freshman Lefty QB David Greene marches the Dawgs down the field in Neyland Stadium and pulls off a miraculous come-from-behind win over the superior Tennessee Volunteers. We threw it to FB Verron Haynes who was wide open in the end zone. And according to the late Larry Munson, “We just stepped on their face with hobnail boot and broken their nose.” I really miss Larry Munson, RIP.

Doing The Dirty Bird

What do you mean you don’t know how to do the Dirty Bird? It’s like the Ickey Shuffle but with more coordination. Just pump your fists and flap your wings and you’ve pretty much got it! We learned how to do this in PE when I was in 3rd Grade. That was a magical season for the ’98 Atlanta Falcons. 14-2, beating the 15-1 Minnesota Vikings in the Metrodome to win the NFC. Our Andersen was better than their Anderson. Gary might have had a perfect 1998 regular season kicking but he missed a big one in the NFC Championship. I can still see Jamal Anderson and Ray Buchanan doing the Dirty Bird in my mind when the Falcons play the Vikings.

2004 Isma’il Muhammad Dunks

That 2004 Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets Men’s Basketball Team was something else. Paul Hewitt’s Jackets made it all the way to the National Championship. Will Bynum’s game-winning layup over the Oklahoma State Cowboys in the Final Four was one of the greatest plays in Atlanta sports history. Too bad UConn was unreal that year. Even though Jarrett Jack and Will Bynum have had successful careers in the NBA, my favorite part of that Yellow Jackets team was thunderous jams of forward Isma’il Muhammad. When the Jackets were in transition and he was on the court people got out of their seats to see Muhammad dunk. Had he been a more complete player in college, there is no question that Ish would have won an NBA Slam Dunk contest.

Dikembe Mutombo Wagging His Finger

We tend to forget that C Dikembe Mutombo was a three-time NBA Defensive Player of the Year for the Atlanta Hawks (1997, 1998, & 2001). Mutombo was arguably the best rim protector this game has ever seen. He would embarrass opposing bigs in the low post and would taunt them by wagging his finger and saying “Not today” in his extremely deep voice. The officials didn’t care for it, so Dikembe starting wagging at the crowd and they loved it. Can someone please tell me why the Atlanta Hawks have not retired his #55 yet? It’s not like anyone on the roster is using it. Mutombo enters the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame this year. Steve Koonin, let’s make it happen. We need a Mt. Mutombo Statue next to the ‘Nique Statue at Philips Arena.

I don’t know about y’all but I feel a little better already. Those five things really did pick me a bit. Have some coffee, enjoy your Saturday and Forever Go Atlanta!

Other Awesome Things in Atlanta Sports: Herschel Walker running over that Tennessee LB in 1980, Zaza Pachulia’s ‘Nothing Easy’ Speech, The Michael Vick Lambeau Field Game, Spud Webb winning Slam Dunk Contests, Sid Bream sliding into home safely, Kevin Butler kicking things, Danny Hall Baseball Camp, The Georgia State Hunters, Erk Russell’s GATA, Leo Mazzone rocking in the Braves dugout, Prime Time high-stepping into the end zone and of course, the Turner Field Waffle House.

Please feel free to add any of the little things that make it fun for you as an Atlanta sports fan in the comments section below.

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